How to win elected office: Hillary

 

 

 

 

 

Harold Hill: Now the next thing you know your sons’ll be bettin’ for money in pinch-back suit. . .first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon and then beer from a bottle. . .Oh we got trouble!

America! Let me introduce you to a new word!

‘HILLARY’. verb- the act of scamming people into thinking there’s problem which only you can solve, where there is no real problem or threat. hillary: noun  A scam or scammer that plays on emotion and uses mob mentality to create a sense of need where there was none before, and then gain power by promising to fill the created need.

 

Alas, I can take no credit for it.  I lifted it from Meridith Wilson’s gilt-tongued, slick-sliding, prevaricating prophet, Harold Hill, aka The Music Man.

First You must create a demon to fight. Find a catch phrase that plays either on guilt, greed or fear.

Hill: The new pool table is corrupting your children.

Modern version of HILLary: Wall-Street Billionaires are waging a war on women.

Obviously, your catch phrase and villainization need have NO anchor in truth.

Second: The next phase is to alarm them into agreeing that there’s a problem.

Harold Hill: “First, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle! And the next thing you know your son’ll be rollin’ up his knickerbockers, horse race gambling, smokin’ and coverin’ up with sin-sin. Nevermind getting dandelions picked or the cistern filled on a Saturday night.

Modern HILLary: The next thing you know, they’ll be takin’ away health care, dooming you to unfair pay for equal work,  and takin’ the food from mouths of hungry children! The rich get richer and the poor get poorer! Republicans want to keep you in poverty while they sip cocktails on their yachts. (Ever notice how weirdly the word ‘yacht’ is spelled?)

Third:Make it politically incorrect to question your motives/facts/data. Feel free to pretzel twist data to create a platform. Create a battle cry.

Hill: Now I know all you folks are the right kind of people. Let me make this perfectly clear! Your children’s children gonna have trouble trouble trouble!

HILLary: Sisters must join together to fight the wall-street bullies who want to rob you of your futures, force you to abort your babies with a coat hanger and keep you in poverty! Women earn only 73% of what comparable men earn. (No need to identify the meaning in the word “comparable”. Statistics are convincing, even if they have little tie to truth or understanding)

Fourth:Offer YOURSELF (or your product) as the ONLY solution: Remind them of some pleasant association. No worries, you’ll never be asked for that result if you follow these rules.

Hill: Whatcha need is a band, a boys band. And they’re gonna be in uniform! Think of John Phillip Sousa!

HILLary: Vote for a woman and all your dreams will come true. You’ll be financially secure, you’ll have wonderful healthcare.  (sorry, I never have heard how Hillary plans to solve this monstrous societal problem of the genders being different from each other. Since behaviors and choices govern pay and opportunity, and she’s certainly smart enough to know that tenure, (women statistically have less) type of professions (women statistically choose low paying humanitarian jobs like teaching, social work and daycare far more often than men), and are far more likely to have family concerns interfere with job performance, she’d have to change the female nurturing nature to begin to equalize the gender dollars. Here’s a link to  a govt. report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that gives much interesting information in regard to the gender pay gap.

http://www.bls.gov/news.release/tenure.nr0.htm

Fifth: Finally, if you have followed the formula properly, the population swallows your hook and digests your bait and you have no need to deliver anything but the mere hint of effort to satisfy the voters. As a precaution, however, It’s wise to buy some black-rimmed glasses to make you seem intelligent and utterly unaware of fashion. EVERYONE knows it’s impossible to be both physically attractive AND wise. You must seem SO intelligent that you defy anyone to question your analysis, let alone your integrity. Who can doubt a person wearing black-rimmed readers?  I bet Sarah Palin is still mystified how she could be governor of a wild, freedom-loving state like Alaska and be treated like she didn’t have a brain in her head! It’s all in the attractive glasses. If only she’d gone to someone who knew the fashion of politics. The white teeth don’t help anything either, Governor Palin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harold Hill: Now Think! Just think about the melody and you’ll be able to play it!

Modern HILLary: “So four Americans are dead, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!”(we can assume since they were all males?) or maybe, “MY PRIVATE SERVER WAS ALLOWED UNDER THE STATE DEPARTMENT RULES.”

Again, there need not be any relation to truth. You already have people on your side if you’ve gotten this far, so anything that reminds them of the demon and hints that you’re the martyr for the cause will do.

Now you may know how the story goes. Somehow, Meridith Wilson has us rooting for the slick Hill, even though we know from the outset that he’s no good. We’re hoping the respectable librarian will succumb to his wiles and maybe the magic band will appear and prevent all backsliding in River City Iowa.

Why? Why do we fall for his hillary? We fall for the hillary for the same reason (and the same demographic) that buys lottery tickets. We know it’s far fetched. We know the chances of succeeding are nearly non-existent. Yet, the infant alive in our core still wants someone to wave a magic wand and make all the challenges of adult life and society vanish away so we can live happily ever after without opposition. We want someone to make our choices for us and better yet, make everyone else be good according to our standards, too.

It’s a very very ancient method. And it still works.

HILLARY: noun  A scam or scammer that plays on emotion and uses mob mentality to create a sense of need where there was none before, and then gain power by promising to fill the created need.