A Guilty Pleasure

There are few of us that enjoy getting phished on any of our devices. But there is sometimes a little fun to be had. My idea is that the more of the phisher’s time I take up, the less time he or she has to victimize others. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

So today I got a facebook message from an old friend with whomI have little contact. It started out with “How are you doing?” I’ll cut and paste the rest of the conversation.

I recognized the typical approach, but since recently I ignored a similar greeting for several weeks, only to find it was really a friend giving me a story idea, I decided to respond. So I answered.

Me: I’m doing well. How are things in your life

phisher:
I’m pretty good and Good to hear from you too, and i’m not sure you heard about the recently good news yet?

Me: Which good news? (By now I knew beyond doubt that it was a scam. . .but I wanted to see what they would try.)

Phisher:
It’s a new specially program for those who need to clear bills buying their own car, buying their own house , retired, widows, single, raising child…Are you aware of this before ?

Me: No, I thought you were talking about the arrests the DHS has been making of internet and social media hackers. It’s so cool how they have been able to find the thieves who are responsible and fry their systems remotely.

Phisher:
This is real and legit okay

Me: Ha ha ha.

Have you heard about Attorney Eric Holder before? He’s the one helping people getting their NUF money, because it was not advertises publiclyHe’s an honest agent and he’s doing it through his private email so that no scammer can discover this okay, This is an big offer for you okayAnd I can share you his private email to apply easily and you will get your money okay, if it’s not real i won’t inform you okayIt’s an honest Agent that want the way forward of this country, you search his name onlineAttorney Eric Holder okay, so as to believe me, Thanks

Then the phisher sent me this picture for proof positive.

Me: You’re hilarious. You should follow American news so you would know what Eric Holder is up to these days. (He’s involved with Obama’s scheme to redistrict red states so that the Dems can gerrymander their way into winning elections.)

PHisher; I do, because he was the one help almost 4 (almost 4? wouldn’t that be 3?) of my friends to get this NUF money and me too, that’s why I’m informing you this is a big offer for you okay,It was not advertise publicly because of scanners so I can send you his private email address to apply as well so that you can believe that I’m telling you the truth give a trial okayAttorne***********@ ******* (I blanked it so no one would get curious and click).comMail him or text him on hangouts If you have it, I believe you gonna get your own money for NUF,

Me: I am not needing more money. Here is the number for someone that will probably be interested in your offer. 801-*** ****. (I gave the number of the local FBI.) Are you in China? I think you’ll have to add the number 1 before you call.

Phisher: There’s no any limit of amount that you can apply for, even more than $50million dollarsDon’t miss this offer. You gonna thank me at last okayOkay just tell him about what I just told you then we gonna contact our self about it okay. Then you gonna understand what I mean by it. thanks

Me: Between my CCA and my SIA and my VRA, I don’t need any money. You better call him (the FBI) . He’s not as rich as I am. He might feel insulted if I call him myself.

Phisher: If you want to help, make sure you do it the end okay,  I wanna do mine for that’s why I told you, but since you are are not interested, don’t bother okay

Me: I knew you were a hacker from your first response okay. (I wanted them to think throwing in the word ‘okay’ was correct America speak, since it’s such an effective red flag.) Where are you really? Are you trying to get money to come to AMerica, or do you just try to steal from AMericans?

PHisher: I need money from American to come, because sufferness is too much There’s no job after you graduated from school

And it’s just a little money I need to come to USANobody wanna helpThat’s why I’m trying to do this to get just $500 and if you can get me this, when I get to USA I will do everything that you want hun

(Hmmmmm. Slavery is illegal, as far as I know.)

(I laid the phone aside for a few minutes while I was doing something else)

Phisher: Why are you not saying anything dear

Me: Where are you?

PHisher: West African If you wanna help me okay, just get me an amazon gift card of just $500 in $100

Me: You’re lucky to have a computer and internet service. There are honest ways to make money using those tools okay If I were to send you Amazon cards, you’d have to give me your personal information.

Phisher: Deal!!!If you will promise me that you won’t betrayed me I will give you and you gonna get me that amazon card with the receipt okayDo you agree with that or you have go and get the amazon gift for me now, let me know

(I notice that he/she wants the receipt. They realize that if they can get access to my accounts, they’ll steal a lot more than $500.)

Me: Why would I promise not to betray you? Of course I would give your information to the authorities. I would far rather give money to someone I know truly needs it. You don’t know enough about Americans to scam us.

Phisher: Smiles (followed by vile expletive.) (He/she does know how to cuss in English)

So, this phisher was working on me for over an hour. If everyone engaged them without responding to any email we could eventually frustrate them so much that they’d give up. It would be a public service.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.