Fun stories

July 24, 2016
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Sunset off my back patio earlier this week. Unedited photo.

This has been a week of fun stories.  I won’t tell the details of the story our neighbor told us about how he bought a ring for his wife before he actually went on a date with her. . .

But today in Relief Society, a gal told a story about how she was very stressed out because she was supposed to provide dinner for the Ronald McDonald house. She was worried about the quantity and the menu and dreading the whole event. The night before, she had the thought that she should serve root beer floats instead of the Costco cookies she had planned. She argued with the thought saying that it would add expense and inconvenience.

But the thought came to her again, even stronger, so she decided to just go with it and bought the cups, spoons, ice cream and root beer for floats instead of cookies.

A neighbor thought to relieve her stress the day of the event and brought over a basket of goodies for the kids and hubby to have while she was away.

The meal went smoothly. The menu was well received, and there was plenty for everyone.

But when they were serving the root beer floats, a grandmother came up to her and explained that her granddaughter was “full of cancer”. She was scheduled to have surgery the next day to remove as much as they could. The grandmother had asked her granddaughter earlier that day if she could have anything in the world to eat, what would she want.

You guessed it. She wanted a root beer float.

Isn’t it fine that our loving Heavenly Father cares so much about his children that he gives inspiration to one of his daughters to satisfy a craving of another that especially needed to know He was aware of her. What an honor to be a vessel of His love!

The delights of St. Louis, a bit off the beaten path.

July 12, 2016

I’ve been engrossed in the dozen projects around our new home, moving, and visits from kids and grandkids. I’m ALMOST ready to settle in to writing my column every week and working on the house in between.

But a friend/editor at the Oklahoman offered me a press trip to St. Louis and I LOVE St. Louis. I lived here for a year when I was a Jr. in high school. It’s an old city, rich in culture and interest and diverse history.

If you’ve never heard of a press tour, its when a P.R. company contracts with a state or community to bring press/travel writers into their venue. In this case the state of Missouri sponsored the tour, highlighting St. Louis, St. Charles and St. Genevieve.

I started off right away testing their hospitality. I explained that I couldn’t go if I had to travel or work Sunday. They quickly said, “No problem. Come Monday instead.” Then I asked if I could bring Jeff who is the photographer. (Nothing is as much fun without him, especially travel.) “Sure, we’d love to have him.”

So here we are in this delightful place. The River City Hotel welcomed us with a posh room, basket-fulls of gifts, a chocolate sculpture, a box of chocolates, and even a storybook. The bed is incredibly comfortable and that’s important for a couple of old codgers.IMG_5239

Yesterday we joined the rest of the media tour in St. Charles. It’s a 250 year old town that boasts of being the jumping off place for Lewis and Clark. It’s built on the Missouri River and still has sweeping views of the river. There are over a hundred quaint shops on the main street. We lived here a year and I never got to see St. Charles. The interesting thing about St. Charles is that they are restoring lots of old buildings but they are also wooing startup business with affordable office space and support. It’s so smart. If they rely only on tourists they’re vulnerable to economic slowdowns that could shut down a town. But they’re diversifying the economy and it’s cool. Some of the offices are in a huge old post office. They even showed me the spy holes in the attic that they used to use to monitor potential mail thieves.IMG_5214

 

The barbeque dinner in the old waterworks building was tasty with generous portions. The meat was all nice and moist and the sweet potato casserole was YUMMY! At the end of the meal they brought some french fries we hadn’t asked for, but they were so delicious, I half wished I wasn’t already full to bursting.IMG_5236

Today we got an interesting tour of the St. Louis Basilica Cathedral. The mosiacs were enough to astonish even us seasoned travelers, fresh from our vacation including dozens of elaborate churches in Rome, including the Vatican itself. Some of the mosaics are by Tiffany of glass fame, (You’ve heard of Tiffany lamps,). There are 41 1/2 million tiles on 83000 square feet of mosaics. You have to see it to believe it. The church is open to tours every day except during funerals or weddings.IMG_5260IMG_5256

Next we got to go through the St. Louis art museum in Forest Park. It’s a great museum with a little bit of everything. There are plenty of big-league artists from the Renaissance and earlier, all the way up to modernists. Lots of what we saw was familiar from our trip to Europe a couple months ago. It feels good to be less ignorant than formerly.  I was sorry that we didn’t get to see the “self-taught artist” Americana exhibit. I think that was an error made by the volunteers. They didn’t realize what VIP’s we were!

This painting is about 16 feet long and 7 feet high. Monet loved to paint the water lilies from his backyard pond.

It’s so fun to rub shoulders with the other journalists. For the most part, their an interesting, entertaining group and almost all have been travel writing much longer than I have. They share tips and give helpful insights. I like interesting stories and there are lots and lots of those.

They had hardcover books on our chairs about Monet, since they have one of his major works in the museum. The Panorama restaurant in the museum was tasty ( I had the Grilled Chicken Waldorf Salad) if a bit pricey for my plebeian  wallet. (Not that we had to pay, but the prices were on the menu.

The food tour of the Hill, (Italian Section) was really fun. We at St. Louis style Pizza, beef sandwiches, cured meats, toasted ravioli, cannolis, Italian bread, Olive salad, and of course gelato. The thing I loved was that the neighborhood isn’t a glossy tourist attraction. There are the 100 year-old homes, still occupied, tidy gardens, friendly businesses. But locals are going about their day and here and there you still catch snatches of Italian. Our guide from Eat St. Louis (owner, Pete Manzo) explained that the neighborhood fathers have informally tried to protect the neighborhood culture. If you’re not Italian, you can shop and eat and enjoy their corner of the city, but don’t try to buy real estate. I’d never done a food and culture tour today and it was tons of fun. I’m going to seek them out in the future. This is only Pete’s third season in business and the first year, he personally led 700 tours at $40. a person. He recently hired a couple more guides.

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I thought we were stuffed by the time we were done with the tour, but they took us straight to the Ameristar Hotel, King Cat restaurant. The food was served like tapas, on small plates and tiny individual servings, but everything was delicious. They served the BEST sea bass with a tomato marmalade in the world. SO DELICIOUS. Even the oysters were delightful. (Because they tasted like cheese and not oysters!) The canolis they served for dessert were the best I’ve ever tasted and Jeff and  I accidentally ate a coffee bean from the tiramisu garnish. We didn’t recognize what it was until later. The beef was fantastic too. They have a new chef that has a delightful touch. IMG_5308IMG_5310

We were tired when we got back to our room. But the surprises were not over. There was a little treasure chest full of fresh, homemade cookies and a carafe of milk in the fridge.  . .and a hard bound recipe book called Stone Soup Cottage. IMG_5313

Tomorrow we’re going to St. Genevieve. I’m sure that more delights and overeating await us. For now, Jeff’s watching the all star game and I’m in my jammies, catching up just a bit on my blog.

Pete from “Eat St. Louis”  told us at the beginning of the tour that we had his dream job. I’m beginning to think that I have my dream job. Traveling and being feted and fed like a celebrity is growing on me! (yes, very literally in the ‘fed’ department!)

This is a side of St. Louis and the region that I haven’t seen, and it’s so FUN. Jeff loves to plan really special vacations and this is all right up there. My part of the deal is that I have three weeks to turn in my story to the Oklahoman.

You know, I really like my life!

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

June 4, 2016

I have been caught in a whirlwind of exciting events. With the windows of heaven open so wide and the blessings being poured out too much to receive, I’ve neglected my blog. It’s like having ice cream in the freezer but not finding time to enjoy it. (We do have week old ice cream that is unopened) But I’m going to have a little moment to update.

We sold our home while we were in Spain. It was toward the end of the trip, so the timing was ideal. ‘Ideal’ is a word you’re going to get sick of in this post! We got a satisfactory price and the timing was IDEAL. We close on our home here in Oklahoma in about a week and a half.

The day after we got back from Europe, our 13th grandchild was born (Friday the 13th). We spent a few days packing like mad rats, loaded a 26 foot U-haul and drove more than half our stuff to a storage unit in Orem UT. We spent the week enjoying family and the newest member and sneaking out at nap time to meet our (fantastic) realtor, Karyn Gustafson to look at houses.

We saw several beautiful homes but either they didn’t have enough room for a large group to eat together, (we have a big family) or they were boring, or they had odd floor plans that made them seem unworkable. Mostly they simply didn’t feel like home.

We made a back up offer on a brand new home that the seller didn’t even bother to reply to, (no it wasn’t low-ball, but I think he wanted to give his first people more time.) The next day, Karyn made the list of houses to show instead of making the list ourselves. She had tuned in to the things we like so well that she saw good possibilities that we hadn’t noticed.

We found a house! Much bigger than we intended to buy and it isn’t perfect, but as soon as we walked in it felt like home. We got it for a good price and now have lots of projects. In fact some of the decor was quite outlandish. But it has no neighbors behind. Just open BLM land with a gate through the back fence. It has a good sized yard with sprinklers and some lawn, but no trees and almost nothing else. But it’s ideal for me: it’s a blank slate and I can hardly wait to get started.

The house has a lovely basement that the owner started to finish. It has the framing and the wiring. Another project!

There’s a bunch of stamped tin in the kitchen. The kitchen cabinets aren’t my first choice, but I don’t mind them. But they have a dozen different styles of knobs. It’s very eclectic and fun, but I bought some antique brass pulls that are different from anything I’ve ever seen that I think will look stunning. (Pictures to follow eventually).

I said it was bigger than we intended. It’s actually the biggest home we’ve ever owned if you count the basement. We’re going to finish it immediately, so we’ll have use of it. I guess that’s it. All the other homes we looked at were smaller than our current home, but most importantly, they didn’t feel big enough to welcome all those we want to gather there. I love having family land friends and neighbors in my home and here, I can.

We’re moving to Utah to be near more family. This home has room for everyone. With all it’s funny quirks and issues, it just feels right. And thanks Karyn Gustafson for knowing better than I what I was looking for. DSC05265

It’s in Saratoga Springs, UT, and it’s four years old. It has lake and mountain views from the front and desert, cultivated land and mountains from the back. For my gardening friends, the bush next to the garage is a white lilac and the other two mounding plants are Four O’Clocks.

Huge Changes

May 26, 2016

My Sweetheart retired on March 31. Twelve days later we left for a celebratory month in Europe, including a 24- cruise. He’d been planning the trip for a year and it came off without a hitch. Just FABULOUS, Darling! It was every bit as exotic as it sounds, with a super-charged history course and a sense of how young our own nation is.

I was interested in art before the trip, but now I have a huge crush on Michelangelo. His paintings are thought provoking, but not as skilled as others. His women look like men with breasts. But his understanding of Bible events and the underlying doctrine was fascinating to me. In the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, one side depicts events from the life of Moses and the opposing wall depicts parallel events from the life of Christ. His point was to show how Moses was a type and shadow for the Messiah and by extension, how the law of Moses was an introductory law to the law of the Gospel. No pictures are allowed in the Sistine Chapel, so though we visited it twice, it must be appreciated through existing photos.

But as well known as his ceiling painting skills, his sculpture brought tears to my eyes. Of course ‘David’ standing in a museum in Florence is so convincingly detailed that if the finger of God were to give him breath, he could step off his plinth, fling the stone he holds in his right hand and run find himself some pants.DSC05089 DSC05070

But the less known ‘Christus’ struck me with such power, it was actually a spiritual experience. The cross leans against his right shoulder, but his head looks downward, so that I could stand directly in his line of vision. He seems to contemplate on the human rescue that burdened him with the cross. His face shows resolve and peace. His body is lean and muscular.  DSC05037

 

The chains on display in the Church where Michelangelo’s ‘Moses’ reposes are said to be the chains that bound St. Peter when he was about to be crucified.DSC02699

 

 

Moses’ beard flows to his waist and his face shows traces of sadness for the hardhearted Israelites.DSC02701

I have a new appreciation for Caravaggio, (also a Renaissance painter), for his style and realism. Only the images relevant to the expression of the idea emerge from the darkness. Bernini was a terrific sculptor and extremely prolific. Raphael’s paintings justifies his position as one of the ninja turtles.

Great art is something you feel and experience. It isn’t mere decoration, but a lesson and a comment on the human condition or the human heart.

Much more about current adventures to follow.

In the meantime, we sold our house while we toured Barcelona, Spain.

The day after we got home, grandbaby number 13, our 9th grandson entered the world, cute, happy and healthy.

Life don’t get much better dan dis!

 

Is this retirement?

April 6, 2016

My husband retired. His friends from work bought him a Go Pro with all the accessories. The new, stress-free Jeff is a delight to spend my days with.

I worried that we’d be in each other’s way, so I bought him his own laptop as a retirement gift. (I should say that when my laptop crashed, I commandeered his laptop, at his suggestion.) But it was a good call to give him his own. He doesn’t disturb me when I’m writing and he helps me so much around the house that I get a lot more done.

He takes time to relax, too.

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We talk more. Part of that is because we’re celebrating the huge life change with a once-in-a-lifetime style cruise. It departs and returns to Rome. We talk more because we’re going to be eating out for about a month and we want to look svelte as we pose in front of Michaelangelo’s ‘David’ or in front of the minarets of Istanbul. So we’re walking about 4 miles a day around our neighborhood, plus all the walking around the house as we busily get the house ready for home shoppers.

Home selling is a topic we discuss almost every day. We’ve had almost no lookers and are utterly baffled as to why. We priced it well and then dropped the price even more. It’s a fantastic house with a great floor plan, spacious rooms, 2 acres of private, nicely landscaped grounds,  luxurious appointments and a fabulous kitchen. The online photos are pretty good. The few lookers we’ve had said it was “very attractive” but it was too far outside of the bustle of the city. We’re about 7 minutes from Walmart, Kohls, Walgreens, and 7-ll. 5 minutes from an excellent school grade school in Edmond schools.  I don’t get it, but then again, I’d rather be further out. Jessie Teehee is our realtor, if anyone is interested in buying a beautiful place in a quiet, friendly neighborhood.

So far, we painted our red living room back to a neutral creamy beige-white. It’s nice. He cut down a tree in the front of the house that was leaning at about a 40 degree angle. We broke down and stored our utility trailer, mowed the grass, weeded, and doused all the beds with miracle grow. He does the dishes most of the time, too.

Retirement has also inspired us to tighten our belts financially. Since Jeff retired quite early, he’s too young to collect social security, and his pension is about a 65% pay cut. So when Dish network raised our rates again, (we had negotiated a great price for last year), we cancelled. We thought they were bluffing when they let us go so easily. But they weren’t. So we got out the Roku and added Sling TV for $20 a month (without a contract. . .you can suspend service for a month or more and restart it easily) We wanted sling for the sake of ESPN. and HGTV.  The only thing we’re missing with this set up is Fox News. The Sling TV only comes with CNN.

Then again, I don’t mind keeping all the rancor out of the house that Fox News seems to bring in. We watched the Wisconsin primaries on CNN and it’s eye-opening to hear the liberal (journalists????) chatting about what they perceive to be going on in the Republican party. I don’t want to ruin the enamel on my teeth with all the teeth grinding I do when I listen, so I don’t resort to that very much. And it can’t be good for my soul to be reminded everyday of what a monster I think Donald Trump is. So I take news from the Newspaper where I choose to read the things that interest me and leave the rest to become mulch for my vegetable garden.

So this is retirement. More talk with my spouse, (he knows a lot and thinks well) more exercise, (never a bad thing) less political shouting from the boob tube, (a bonus this year especially) and belt tightening.

Oh, we also eat our main meal at noon. That’s a very good change. I have a touchy stomach that is happy every night, now.

I realize that there might be a bit of honeymoon going on. And the cruise dining room will certainly tighten our belts much more effectively than just cancelling Dish.

Our money advisor tells us that retirement should be a second childhood without parental supervision. In truth, we’ve lived just long enough to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

As we prepare to move once we sell the house, we’ve been packing. It has pointed out how much pointless stuff we have/had. Today I threw out a nest of tangled cords that I have no idea what they went to.  It’s so nice to get rid of extraneous possessions. But I think I’ll keep this guy that’s hanging around all the time.

 

 

A Food Storage Test

March 23, 2016

Mormons have been advised to store food staples since the Great Depression. It’s always seemed natural to me. I like to eat. I like to cook. I would feel desperate if my children were hungry and I had nothing to give them.

Now my kids are pretty well independent, (one is on an LDS mission), and I still have enough stored food for  . . .well, a long time. I gave lots of it away to the kids so that they could supplement their own storage. I still have lots of food.

It’s mostly staples: wheat (I’ve gotten rid of most of the red wheat and now have white wheat which is lower in fiber and causes less “digestive distress” which is a euphemism for “odor” which is a euphemism for “flatulence.”) Powdered milk, sugar, salt, dried fruit, dried onions, oats, peas, beans, lentils, yeast, oil, peanut butter. Meats are wet canned in pressure cooked mason jars. Textured Vegetable Protein or TVP is pretty good these days, especially the taco or sausage flavors.

The grains, sugar and salt can be stored for another 20 years without much loss of quality. But I have always heard that the milk has a much shorter shelf life. Well, I put it to the test today. As I’m clearing out closets, it’s natural to get rid of some of the old stuff. This seemed to qualify.milk can lid

Thomas was a toddler when that was canned. We canned it in our garage using the Colorado Springs North stake portable drypack canner. The children enjoyed that Family Home evening. There was one oxygen-absorbing packet in the #10 (gallon-sized) can.

As a side note, I recently found out how the oxygen packets work. They’re full of iron shavings. Iron rusts. That’s the process of an oxygen atom attaching to the iron atoms. Iron oxidizes very readily. So the iron rusts, capturing the present oxygen atoms before they can oxidize the milk or other contents of the can.

The good news is that this 18-year-old milk is still perfectly fine. At least it was as perfectly fine as the day it was put in the can. I noticed no difference at all. It mixed readily and the flavor has not changed.

One other note. It seems to me that the Carnation milk or other brands of instant powdered milk that you can buy in the grocery store in five-gallon or 8 quart boxes, spoils much more readily than the milk I have dry-packed canned. In fact, I think the bulk powdered instant milk, (purchased in sacks of 25 to 50 pounds) that is not granulated but a very fine powder, is almost identical to regular skim milk in flavor, once it has been chilled for a few hours. The grocery store versions seem to me stale-tasting from the time of purchase.

This is NOT ‘morning Moo’ or any other type of sweetened product. It’s nothing but plain, dry, instant, skim milk. Apparently it has a much, much longer shelf life than anyone was willing to assert 18 years ago.

 

The Cardinal Rules of Good Parenting.

March 14, 2016
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See the dirty birdy footprints on the glass I cleaned perfectly two days ago? In a millisecond, she’s going to make two more.

 

There are cardinals around my house for the last 8 days that are demonstrating laws of effective parenting.  There are two pairs that have been crashing into my windows incessantly for the last 8 days. They’re a little drunk on the holly berries, the windows were very clean, (I have washed them three times during that period) and the sky is overcast. There’s such a lovely reflection of the trees and shrubs in my yard that they want to build a nest in the refection. Over and over and over, all day long, thud, thud, thud, thud.

There are certain panes that they hit. Those areas are covered in dirty birdy footprints. And I’m not talking about a gentle tap with the beak. They are flying into the window, back to a perch, crashing into it again, and again and again.

I, as owner of the cardinal universe have tried several things to convince the cardinals that they will never be able to nest in my house. When I close the curtains, they stop bothering the dining room windows, but the other window coverings are harder to close and with the house for sale, I want to keep it all ready for showing at a moment’s notice.  I tried turning on the lights throughout the house so that they could see into the house. It only worked when it was the darkest outside.

But now, I think they’ve created a cardinal culture of crashing windows and it doesn’t matter what I do.

Yet, this problem, in and of itself, is not so deadly. But if they’re crashing into windows instead of nest building, or egg laying, there will not be another generation of cardinals. The existence of their family depends on them figuring out that this is destructive behavior.

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Like this female cardinal, I think it’s a part of humans’ defense method that kids are cute.

I, as master of the universe am not going to finally allow them to nest in my house. It doesn’t matter how many times they protest, it will never be okay. And the law of the window glass will never be removed so that they cease to reap the consequences of their behavior. The consequences of a headache or bodyache or dulled beaks are the only hope I have that eventually, they’ll wise up.

So far, the birds are still trying to insist that they know what they want to do. They don’t care how convincing that window glass is that they’re wrong.

Doesn’t our Heavenly Father look down on us and see us doing the same stupid thing over and over and over? Yet he leaves the laws in place for us, hoping that we’ll finally understand that consequences of His giving in to our insistence would do us far more harm ultimately than letting us experience the more minor consequences of mistakes made along the way and turning away from our destruction.

So it is with parenting. Kids are going to be naughty. Kids are going to be sassy or lazy or disobedient or willful or selfish. Kids are going to each present some behavior or character trait that brings discord.

Parents’ job is to teach them about the ultimate goal, (to return to our Loving Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ) with honor.

We must teach them that NOTHING is more important than that ultimate goal. Our ultimate duty is to give them a sense of their own potential and the confidence to realize it as a son or daughter of God.

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This male cardinal gathers his dignity after flying into the window a dozen times. The photo is taken through the window glass.

Parents and society and nature put laws in place to build happiness and achievement upon happiness and achievement until we are ready to receive that ultimate goal.

Giving children immediate, dependable, inevitable consequences to their wrong choices is like leaving the window glass in place. Sometimes I have to resort to using my witch voice. (I learned it from my mother and I knew it meant business!)

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That’s gotta hurt! No matter how hard she flings herself against it, the window pane isn’t moving. Is her girlfriend egging her on? (That’s what birds do, you know.)

Sometimes I’d have to compel them to obey by leading them by a handful of their still attached hair.  Very occasionally, when they persisted in their defiance, I’d resort to the bare-bottom spank. This ultimate disgrace combined embarrassment, humiliation, and pain. It was administered with an open hand on the fleshiest part of their fannies. For some children, isolation was the ultimate doom. If their bedroom door didn’t have a lock, (which it never did,) I’d wedge a cloth diaper in the door so that they couldn’t open it. Sometimes this was necessary more for me to cool off than for them.

But the concept that made me a successful parent (which I offer all 7 of my darlings as proof) was consistently. I didn’t lapse in love and concern enough to let them have their own destructive way. If they claimed I violated their free agency, I told them that was impossible. They could like it or not, but they weren’t going to get away with wickedness without consequences. . . not on my watch.

No matter how much those birdies think they want to come through that glass, they’re always going to have the same unhappy result. Yes, they have headaches. Yes, they’re wasting their nesting time. Yes, they’re dirtying up my house. But I care too much for those creatures to bring them into my house. . .to give them what they think they want. I’ve done all I know to do to try to convince them to follow their proper instincts and build elsewhere. That’s what good parents do.

Being frustrated or angry is sometimes natural. Recognize that at the root of that frustration is that you want what is best for your child. Certain kids learn to get under our skin. They learn what gets them what they think they want. Once in a while, we just want to open the windows and prove to them that no matter how certain they are, they’re wrong about what’s on the other side of the glass.

But our Heavenly Father never does that.

Don’t feel guilty for your feelings. Think of yourself as a pain (pun intended) of glass that protects your child from worse consequences by holding the line on the rules of obedience to law.

Try to lure the child away from their unprofitable behaviors by lavishing love and hyping good consequences when they choose well.

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One more try will surely change the nature of windows.

Some kids will keep crashing the glass. Some bird-brains will take a lot of knocking before they decide to move on. But now that my children have all lived to adulthood, they appreciate the window glass. They appreciate me standing between them and choices that would have brought them unhappiness.

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Why won’t you change the rules for me, since I’ve been trying so hard to break them?

Part of Omnipotence is listening or seeing the thud, thud, thud, thud on the window panes and never getting so sick of it that God takes a break, or opens the window. He always keeps the bird feeders full and the forest replete with nesting opportunities. He never stops loving us? Sometimes, every once in a while, do you suppose He laughs at what it means to be drunk cardinal?

Space Shuttle Discovery Landing at Edwards AFB

March 10, 2016

Here’s a link to one of my recent columns. You need to read it to see why a reader sent these pictures.

www.newsok.com/article/5480269

A MOST AWESOME reader emailed me a kind response and sent me photographs taken of the Space Shuttle, ‘Discovery’ landing on the same airstrip I speak of in the column.

I was stunned to see how dirty and beat up Discovery looks.  Once the shuttles shed their rockets as they exited the atmosphere, they couldn’t propel themselves in the atmosphere. As they re-entered, they glided to their landing. Imagine how precise and the calculations would have to be to glide to a stop at a precise location. space shuttle discovery landing at EdwardsThe space shuttle announced it’s return to earth with double sonic booms. Youngsters probably haven’t heard sonic booms, but they are like not-so-distant explosions. The space shuttles were moving more than twice the speed of sound, so created two booms, spaced about half a second apart, if I remember right.

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This link below is an awesome Powerpoint of loading the shuttle piggyback for the flight to Florida. Can you imagine piloting an aircraft that had something like that on top?

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The woes of a French Drain

March 7, 2016

We’re downsizing. So we need to sell this home. It’s loaded with bells and whistles that we’ve enjoyed but would never pay for if we decided to build another home. The builder intended this house to be a Parade of Homes house and so added dozens of cool touches.

We scooped this house up as a great bargain after the previous owners had been relocated and it had languished in the hands of an absentee realtor. Our agent wasn’t certain that it was still for sale, and there was no sign out front. The yards were overgrown and neglected, but there was still a lockbox on the front door. Inside, it was pretty clean, although had the feel of vacant house, cold and empty. There were lots of cheerful spiders in the garage, (it’s heated, so they were living high!)

Now it’s time to sell. I cleaned the carpets and then had them restretched.  The carpet guy noticed water in the vent of one of the bedrooms. I assumed that I’d been careless when I cleaned the carpets and had sprayed water down there. I sucked it out with my carpet cleaner and decided to double check after several days. A week went by with a dry vent. Then I ran the sprinklers. . .

After about three weeks, I had narrowed the source of the water down to the sprinklers or rain water. If I dumped it only on that area from a bucket, 8 hours later it would be seeping into my vent. I changed the grade but it merely slowed it down. After watching many videos on Youtube, I had it figured out and the only permanent solution was to have a french drain in the flowerbed outside the window.

Unfortunately, there were mature box hedges, a mature shrub rose and bedding flowers in the culprit bed.

They had to go. I spent all of one day digging out the plants, (I think I salvaged the rose bush but replanted it along the perimeter of the lawn in the back yard.) TRENCH BEFORE I HIRED SOMEONEThis isn’t exactly the impression anyone wants to give when their house is for sale. It took me 8 hours to get this far. By then, the contractors were calling me back. I got a bid for $1945 to finish digging the trench (it needed to be about three feet deep at the far end where it tunneled under the sidewalk,) and install the French drain. It’s nothing more than a perforated pipe in a bed of coarse gravel until you get to the sidewalk where you don’t want it perforated.  The next guy bid $1440. Still way too rich for my blood. I called the realtor and asked if he could suggest someone. He did. Rodrigo Ponce bid $600. “Hired if you can do it tomorrow.” He could.  It took four guys about four hours. They hauled all the sticky red clay back to the edge of the property where nobody can see it and it will eventually melt into the topsoil, or grow grass on the berms.

finished drain without plantsThis is what I was left with. There were still chunks of clay mixed with the dirt, so I had to rake a lot of it out before planting.

FINISHED FRENCH DRAIN WITH BEDSIt’s early in the season, so I was glad to find these upright, evergreen little shrubs. These were the biggest they had, but they’ll grow fast and be an added interest in the landscaping. I won’t miss the box hedges. They’re pretty boring. The roses and salvia were pretty there, but I’m finding that the Knock-out roses grow so big so fast that they become unruly. They’re not prone to disease, but they’ll grow to be six feet tall and at least that big in diameter. They’re very thorny too, so not too B-ball friendly, let alone nice to kids on bikes.  The kids like to stuff their basketballs into the box shrubs rather than carry them into the garage,  but the conical shrubs will grow just a bit taller than the top of the arch and will look nice, I think. I might add some edible plants on the ends this summer, too, if we’re here long enough to do it.

FRENCH DRAIN EMITTERThere’s about a 12 inch elbow that leads to this emitter. I ran the sprinklers today, so it’s full of water. Best of all, the vent is completely, gloriously, dry!  Fortunately, there was plenty of slope to carry the water away. All of our property drains to the west and from our neighbors yard, continues to the north where it joins a little creek. It’s covered and spring loaded so it will seep when water is flowing, but no animals or mosquitoes will get in there.LAWN SCAR

Happily, this scar from the trench will fill in by early summer. Where the pipe comes under the sidewalk, it’s very deep. They had to angle it around the pier for the basketball standard that goes about three feet down. But soon it will be easy to mow over and will become invisible. I don’t regret hiring someone to finish the job. I could have done it, but it would have taken me a week at least.

Today I planted the vegetable garden in the plot behind the house. If we aren’t here to enjoy it, someone will surely like something I planted. So far it’s just snap peas, chard, spinach  red and gold potatoes and an exotic lettuce mix. In a couple weeks I’ll be ready to start with summer crops if the weather continues the way it has so far this year.

Now, all the windows are clean, every tiny thing we can find has been repaired or shined up. The listing goes live tomorrow night or Wednesday morning!

A visit to my Sky Room.

February 22, 2016

The bed is queen size

As I’ve written recently, we’re trying to sell our house. We want less to maintain. Getting rid of ‘stuff’ is so delightfully freeing.

About 6 years ago, we added a bedroom in the attic space off the upstairs family room. I’m glad I listened to my boys who urged me to paint it the palest blue I could find. I went with it and used white trim, white bedding and white window covering to give the impression of being in the sky. And that’s how I feel when I’m there. But it’s more than that. There’s a feeling of joyous reverence in that space. I want to kneel right down and talk to God. My children report having important spiritual experiences in that room.

But since there are no building permits issued in our county, the addition didn’t go on our county records. When we prepared to list the home, we needed it professionally measured in order to claim the additional sky room square footage.

I had forgotten the exact time to expect the professional measurer, so when a man with a music stand appeared on my porch was obviously nobody else but Harold Hill.

Well, not quite. But he quickly explained that he DID have a degree in music and sang tenor in the big league  performances in Oklahoma. He sensed my interest and eagerly explained the devices he used. (When it was all done, the margin of error was within 2 square inches!)

I commented that music and math are both functions of the same side of the brain, so his geometry related way of making a living went well with his musical side. He laughed and told me that he also had bachelors degrees in English Communication, Psychology and Electrical Engineering.

“Ah. So you’re really a professional student.”

“Yes, my father asked me if I was ever going to get out of school. I said, ‘nah.'” He’d measured the upstairs on the inside with it’s multitude of angles and corners, but the ground floor was measured outside. Did you know that they don’t count utility rooms (furnaces and hot water heaters’ space) in the square footage because they don’t have heat and air conditioning?

He had a little chatty time when he was finished, and he was so friendly, he was fun to talk to.

He claimed to be curious about everything and explained that he had become a jack of all trades when his mother was very ill when he was young. He’d learned to cook and clean and do laundry and housework as well as to take care of his mother. “I didn’t have a childhood like most kids. I spent most of my time taking care of others. I’ve learned that life isn’t about me. It’s about helping others. That’s where we all find joy. That’s how we all find happiness.” He also dropped that he donated the proceeds from the measuring business to various charities and non-profits. “I do it because I like it. It’s challenging.”

I asked him if he’d mind if I wrote about him. He said he didn’t mind as long as I didn’t give his name. “I like to fly low,” he explained.

For the $225 my realtor will pay for the legal measurment, I learned that any floorspace where the ceiling is not at least 5 feet above it, is not counted by an appraiser, (the sky room ceiling slopes with the eaves in one part.) And by the way, I learned the secret to a happy life. It’s not about me. It’s about helping others.

He’d been in my sky room. It showed.

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